lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
