I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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