I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
