It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
