If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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