i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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