Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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