Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
