the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
