I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
