My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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