Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
