No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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