I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize