I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
