I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
