This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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