dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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