My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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