i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am mentally ready for anal.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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