Plan B is the new Plan A
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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