I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
