So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
