Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
