You really coming over, don't trick.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
