Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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