Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
