he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dignity is for republicans.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
