don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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