How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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