If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
