i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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