I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
