no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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