She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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