Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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