nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
