Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize