I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
