I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
