considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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