you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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