I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize