she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just googled if crying burns calories
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
