i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
