i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
