On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
