your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
