Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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