I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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