he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
