I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
