Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
