You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
