You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize