Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
