WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
