After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
