Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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